Debilitated

As the title says, that's pretty much how I am right now. Don't know what it means? Look it up in the dictionary or do what lazy people with great internet like me do, Google it!

Mentally, Spiritually, Emotionally, and physically drained. Everything's sapped out of me. I feel like I cant go on like this. I want to break down so badly but I try my best not to cause it be stupid to just randomly break down in front of so many people. It would just make them worry too much and too many questions will be left to be answered.

The corridors, hallways, stairs, field, auditorium. They keep sending back nostalgic flashbacks into my head. There's just so many places, occurrences and moments which warp me back into time. I'm lying to myself and everyone so badly right now you cant even come to terms to how big this lie is.

Thanks so much to my friends who've tried their best to get me right side up again but it's no use. Till I find a way to sort myself out, there's nothing any one of you can say that will calm the cold wind in my soul. A personal thanks to Sharon who though I've not known for long still offered to help and offered her wisdom to me.

I pictured this differently. Maybe it's because I hung on the inverse of reality. Maybe it's because I cant tell the difference between what's going on in my head and in the real world. True enough that I miss you, and I miss you so badly even though you're in front of me. Nothing has changed really, but there's that separation bit that peeves and irks the both of us. It's hard trying to keep that Angel smile when I cant keep up with you.

Just like how guitar strings can slice into one's flesh if not careful, it's just the same when you tell me not to care. My guitar sounds different, my skills have drained, and the tremors have relapsed. Why is it so hard to get over someone? Maybe it's because I didnt will it to end this way. God Forbid I do something stupid.

On a seperate note, Check out The new LOVE DRUNK album by Boys Like Girls, it's great. But too bad I had to find it at a time like this.


And also this one song by Switchfoot - Yesterday from the Oh Gravity! Album. I know it's kinda old since they've got the new Hello Hurricane album out. But Switchfoot is always good!

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~reflections~
my nightmares keep growing..
the only good dream I had in the past few days
was once with you by my side...